Browsing through sulit.com looking for an affordable air conditioning unit for my baby's new room, after typing the word "aircondition" in the search bar, the results showed some awesome pictures of I think one of most beautiful houses for sale I have ever seen in my entire life. One link after the other, all under the same location - "alabang". So I looked at the pictures of the houses, was actually a bit cool, felt like a virtual tour of the house, without the hassle of the Realtor sighing at you since looking like a hobo isn't really a promising look for a buyer.
Pic by pic I scrolled through the pictures of the different parts of the house. Each house ad better than the last one, each room pic gets more and more awesome. The floors were so shiny, doors made of sliding glass, spacious patios, stair cases made of glass, bedrooms that look like you don't wanna get out of forever. It took me about 5 mins before I remembered to breathe. Then questions flooded my mind like - do these people have so many properties that they just want to sell these magnificent houses? Why not live in it their selves? Why not give it to their sons or daughters or moms and/or dads? Do all of their close immediate relatives have houses as awesome as this (if not more awesome) already? what do they do for a living? how many people in the Philippines have this much awesome houses and what do they do? did they start from an entry level job and got promoted until they reached an annual salary capable of buying a house like this? how old are they now if ever? what kind of job is it? am I really that much of a failure?
I grew up as a very poor kid. Not being able to finish college coz my parents cant afford it. after working at numerous fast food chains and playing guitar in bars, I worked in call centers since I was 20 years old and I thought that was awesome. Now I'm 30 years old and all I do is make flash dolls for P5k a week. I am now in the middle of my life and have not accomplished anything. I am angry now, feeling the world is so unfair. I think I have some talents, but there are just legions of stupid-ass motherf*ckers out there who just got born into this world with a golden spoon in their f*cking mouths.
What do I have to do to achieve a house like that? i want it for my baby, my mom, my sisters and my brother. They deserve everything this world has to offer too. why is this f*cking system made so that only the people who can AFFORD it can get the most out of it? Did God make the majestic mountains of Japan, and New Zealand just so only the rich can see it? I'm here in the Philippines and can't even friggin afford to see everything this country has to offer.
Will I still be able to do something? Is it too late? How? When? What?
For now, all I know is to do my best in what I do and grab every opportunity I get to be more. At least i'm not a dick thrusting blindly in space, I'm a dick slowly thrusting into something. I hope to get there. I want to get there. I crave to get there. I will get there.
