Friday, February 7, 2014
Recession
It's been a month now since our budget was cut. I'm really hoping that the recession will end next month. I want to go back to the way it was 2 months ago, when I was earning 400$ a week. It truly makes me smile, reading and looking back to the way it was, when I bought Bhear's bed, and I was able to take care of all the expenses + buy the stuff that I really want.. Now it seems like I just woke from a beautiful dream. I don't know why, but when things turn out to be soooo right, something crappy happens. Now, I'm earning more or less 9k a month which is not even enough to pay for the house that we signed for. Oh how I wish things would go back to the way it was. Now, I don't know. I don't even know if Ill get the same opportunity as before, given that Fernando is jobless, so he needs that job again. I've applied at so many jobs online, I haven't even got a call or an e-mail reply. I need to rise now. I'm 30 going on 31 this year, and it's not cool that I don't have the resources to create a home or raise a family. Everything needs money. Well come to think of it, I was even poorer same time last year. Yet I was almost reaching for the skies before the year ended. Still, I can't wait for the next quarter... I have huge bills to pay. I even owe mom 10000 and Karen, 1500. We're planning to buy a car this year, and I want to make that happen. I know what I should do, I know I should be patient, it's just I've been panicking and I've been in denial for a month now that I can't clear my mind. After this, I'm gonna keep applying. I need more. I need so much more. I need to be wealthy. I need to be prepared to give my family everything they need. I need to move. Make actions. Make achievements. Make a career. Make money.
Wednesday, January 15, 2014
Ozymandias
How life rolls.
Starting July last year, i finally got to do 2-3 dolls a week which was really great. Sept, i started submitting 5. It was heaven. With very little effort, I was earning 15k a week. Looking back then, when we bought Bhear's Note 2 for 20k, then we went to Baguio for another 20k, then went back and bought a 30k laptop, and bought a lot of awesome things afterwards, we almost completed all of our immediate needs. Bhear's room, TV, air-condition, shopping and grocery sprees left and right, eating at awesome restaurants, just having that feeling - that feeling that we will always have enough for our little wants, was a dream come true. Please let me go on so I can feel a bit better about myself. My razer peripherals, my ssd, my comfy table and my chair.. audi's beautiful bed, nanay and mama's bday gifts, all the expensive x-mas gifts that we gave, Christmas food, new year's food, and finally, audi's birthday celebration. i thought that from that point on, we would only rise even more. I started contacting friends whom I owe money from, planning to pay them.
Until Fernando resigned from his job. He said we would share the dolls output in half. Which bothered me so much. But it was ok for me because he's slow making dolls. He's slow because he makes really detailed and creative dolls, where as I, I just trace my dolls and alter them in some ways. I was still able to submit 5 for one time (because I was submitting puzzles) first week of january but then, the bomb blew right in front of my face. Last week, Fernando forwarded an email to me from the dolls boss from US. Long story short, they had to cut their budget for "2 months or so" and we will only be allowed to make 1 doll per week. 1 doll per week, meaning, if Fernando is to make a doll this week, mine would be for the next week. so that makes me do only 2 dolls per month for the next 2 months or so. 6k per month. shit. i pay a 11000php/month house. I am so frightened, I can't even tell Audi. I need to find a way to earn as much as I did before. I need 60k per month. How? How...
It was our last chance to pass 5 games this week. So last night, I passed 1 doll, 2 decors and 2 puzzles. Just now, Fernando told me that the puzzles and the decors will not be paid. Just the doll. Just the doll. 1 doll.
I am fucked. Totally fucked.
Starting July last year, i finally got to do 2-3 dolls a week which was really great. Sept, i started submitting 5. It was heaven. With very little effort, I was earning 15k a week. Looking back then, when we bought Bhear's Note 2 for 20k, then we went to Baguio for another 20k, then went back and bought a 30k laptop, and bought a lot of awesome things afterwards, we almost completed all of our immediate needs. Bhear's room, TV, air-condition, shopping and grocery sprees left and right, eating at awesome restaurants, just having that feeling - that feeling that we will always have enough for our little wants, was a dream come true. Please let me go on so I can feel a bit better about myself. My razer peripherals, my ssd, my comfy table and my chair.. audi's beautiful bed, nanay and mama's bday gifts, all the expensive x-mas gifts that we gave, Christmas food, new year's food, and finally, audi's birthday celebration. i thought that from that point on, we would only rise even more. I started contacting friends whom I owe money from, planning to pay them.
Until Fernando resigned from his job. He said we would share the dolls output in half. Which bothered me so much. But it was ok for me because he's slow making dolls. He's slow because he makes really detailed and creative dolls, where as I, I just trace my dolls and alter them in some ways. I was still able to submit 5 for one time (because I was submitting puzzles) first week of january but then, the bomb blew right in front of my face. Last week, Fernando forwarded an email to me from the dolls boss from US. Long story short, they had to cut their budget for "2 months or so" and we will only be allowed to make 1 doll per week. 1 doll per week, meaning, if Fernando is to make a doll this week, mine would be for the next week. so that makes me do only 2 dolls per month for the next 2 months or so. 6k per month. shit. i pay a 11000php/month house. I am so frightened, I can't even tell Audi. I need to find a way to earn as much as I did before. I need 60k per month. How? How...
It was our last chance to pass 5 games this week. So last night, I passed 1 doll, 2 decors and 2 puzzles. Just now, Fernando told me that the puzzles and the decors will not be paid. Just the doll. Just the doll. 1 doll.
I am fucked. Totally fucked.
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