Monday, November 29, 2010
SPi Technologies... Again.
I got a text from Nina telling me that I will NOT GET PAID for Training and Orientation. Cool huh? That means I start on the 1st of December, and get my first paycheck on the 15th of January. What do you think? Now, at this point, even at my most desperate state, I am having second thoughts about pursuing this job. If there were readers, I would greatly appreciate your feedback.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
For me and My Baby
Think of how many years it will take to save for these:
MacBook Pro
MacBook Pro
Sony Ericsson Satio
55" Class (54.6" Diag.) 7000 Series 3D 1080p LED HDTV
Sony Ericsson XPERIA
Amongst all other things. these are the ones I see let's say, a bit more realistic in the nearest possible future.
If I were to rise, no matter how many years from now, I will post with pictures and hope to someday, look back to these times when my baby and I had nothing.more whining and loathing. BEWARE of SPi Technologies.
-18k was still what they offered. (Again, that is for a Corporate Trainer for Leadership Development Post - Training Specialist)
-Nina put in the wrong starting date, 2 days late than the date of my orientation (which is supposed to be paid due to some reason that it takes 8 hrs). I said if she won't fix it, I will have a hard time, filing a dispute for the payout. She said she'll take care of it.
-I need to do a full medical check up on tuesday which means I have to go back to Makati again.
-NO ALLOWANCES! But of course, as mandated by law, we get to have leaves applicable on our 6th month (AS IF I'D STAY FOR 6 MONTHS!!!).
-Cut off is every 15th and 30th and payday is every 15th and 30th which means I will be working for a whole month STRAIGHT without pay. Goodbye to Xmas, goodbye to buying my loved ones at least a small gift. This was the BOMB of the day! So what now? I work for a month straight before I get my first pay which is pretty much like around 7k?! I felt like i'd be working for my death and that I was signing my death contract.
So if anyone, for some reason, gets to accross this blog, BEWARE. Unless of course that you are the most desperate person in the whole wide world (just like I am today).
DO NOT. Let me rephrase. NEVER NEVER EVER EVER APPLY FOR A JOB @ SPi Technologies.
THEY WILL SUCK YOUR BLOOD DRY, EAT YOU ALIVE, AND YOU WILL DIE.
Saturday, November 27, 2010
For My Baby
In my previous blogs, I always upload pictures of material things that I might wanna have if given the chance to walk this life to be successful and rich. As selfish and as miserable I may seem, on top of all those things is my urge to give my family and even more, to my baby.
I have been so miserable this past year because I lost my job in Teleperformance last January because of some ass-licking motherf*ckers (I used to call colleagues) can't get it if I can't talk their talk or eat what they eat.
Ever since, we had no money, I sold my guitar, we borrowed money from everyone, sometimes we had nothing to eat, I sold my one and only TV, My baby had to stop from graduate school, we wont be able to help her families financially, some of the members of her family eventually lost respect in me, I couldnt attend interview, or even if I could, I couldn't submit pre-employment requirements, amongst many other awful things.
Often times, I would go on a rage because of all of this, and who'd be there to absorb all of my crap? No one else but her. And as seen in my past blogs, my anger and frustration about everything. I would say that this is the darkest time of my life (so far).
But still, she has always been understanding. The most understanding person of all. Who has always been beside me all this time, and always will be. And after the anger and the shouting, she would still be here, holding me, telling me how much she loves me. After realize after calming down that the true reason of my rage is that I love her so much too and it drives me crazy to think that I can't give her what she deserves. I can't give her simple trips to Anawangin, or even a simple TLC burger from Jollibee. And it drives me crazy. And knowing that is always here, to love me unconditionally as she has always have, just creates a cycle of fear, anger and frustration. Fear of the possibility that I might never rise above all of this before my dream of her is over. Frustrated of the number of times I tried so hard to get a job that would at least give us a little bit allowance for a trip to Jollibee every payday.
She is still here, holding me, telling me everything will be alright. I love her. So much. And I would like to take this short sane opportunity to write the things that I really feel about us, before the rage and the anger comes back.
Then why don't I upload pictures of things that I want my baby to have? Its because I can't find the best pictures in Google to fit what I really want her to have. And if I were to lower my standards down a bit to the things I would normally see, it would be an endless stream of uploads, too much for Blogger's servers to handle.
I love you so much baby. Just wait. Just a little more. We can do this.
Happy 38th Monthsary Baby.
I have been so miserable this past year because I lost my job in Teleperformance last January because of some ass-licking motherf*ckers (I used to call colleagues) can't get it if I can't talk their talk or eat what they eat.
Ever since, we had no money, I sold my guitar, we borrowed money from everyone, sometimes we had nothing to eat, I sold my one and only TV, My baby had to stop from graduate school, we wont be able to help her families financially, some of the members of her family eventually lost respect in me, I couldnt attend interview, or even if I could, I couldn't submit pre-employment requirements, amongst many other awful things.
Often times, I would go on a rage because of all of this, and who'd be there to absorb all of my crap? No one else but her. And as seen in my past blogs, my anger and frustration about everything. I would say that this is the darkest time of my life (so far).
But still, she has always been understanding. The most understanding person of all. Who has always been beside me all this time, and always will be. And after the anger and the shouting, she would still be here, holding me, telling me how much she loves me. After realize after calming down that the true reason of my rage is that I love her so much too and it drives me crazy to think that I can't give her what she deserves. I can't give her simple trips to Anawangin, or even a simple TLC burger from Jollibee. And it drives me crazy. And knowing that is always here, to love me unconditionally as she has always have, just creates a cycle of fear, anger and frustration. Fear of the possibility that I might never rise above all of this before my dream of her is over. Frustrated of the number of times I tried so hard to get a job that would at least give us a little bit allowance for a trip to Jollibee every payday.
She is still here, holding me, telling me everything will be alright. I love her. So much. And I would like to take this short sane opportunity to write the things that I really feel about us, before the rage and the anger comes back.
Then why don't I upload pictures of things that I want my baby to have? Its because I can't find the best pictures in Google to fit what I really want her to have. And if I were to lower my standards down a bit to the things I would normally see, it would be an endless stream of uploads, too much for Blogger's servers to handle.
I love you so much baby. Just wait. Just a little more. We can do this.
Happy 38th Monthsary Baby.
Friday, November 26, 2010
Make it Mine by Jason Mraz
A few months ago, I was on the hunt to borrow money from friends in Facebook because I was so tapped out. A good friend of mine, Jason along with one of our other friends (Niko) agreed to meet me at 1AM to lend me some cash. However, what I got with them that day was something more than expected. They told me that they learned about the "Law of Attraction". A law that can be applied to anyone so long as you ask, thank, give and work efficiently. If I understood them correctly, you can have anything you think of so long as you keep your mind on it always and you follow certain guidelines.They shared personal experiences of how they were able to use it in many occasions. I'm just about to study it further but I think that in the grand scheme of things, it is good for your health.
This is a song that reminds me of that "Law".
Jason Mraz: Make it Mine Lyrics
Wake up everyone
How can you sleep at a time like this
Unless the dreamer is the real you
Listen to your voice
The one that tells you
To taste past the tip of your tongue
Leap in, the net will appear
I don't wanna wake before
The dream is over
I'm gonna make it mine
Yes I, I know it
I'm gonna make it mine
Yes I'll make it all mine
I keep my life on a heavy rotation
Requesting that it's lifting you up, up, up and away
And over to a table at the Gratitude Cafe
And I am finally there
And all the angels they'll be singing
Ah la la la, ah la la la
I la la la la love you
I don't wanna break before
The tour is over
I'm gonna make it mine
Yes I, I'll own it
I'm gonna make it mine
Yes I'll make it all mine
And timing's everything
And this time there's plenty
I am balancing
Careful and steady
And reveling in energy that everyone's emitting
Well I don't wanna wait no more
Oh I wanna celebrate the whole world
I'm gonna make it mine
Oh yes I'm following your joy
I'm gonna make it mine
Because I, I am open
I'm gonna make it mine
That's why, I will show it
I'm gonna make it mine
Gonna make it mine
Oh mine
Yes I'll make it all mine
Wake up everyone
How can you sleep at a time like this
Unless the dreamer is the real you
Listen to your voice
The one that tells you
To taste past the tip of your tongue
Leap in, the net will appear
I don't wanna wake before
The dream is over
I'm gonna make it mine
Yes I, I know it
I'm gonna make it mine
Yes I'll make it all mine
I keep my life on a heavy rotation
Requesting that it's lifting you up, up, up and away
And over to a table at the Gratitude Cafe
And I am finally there
And all the angels they'll be singing
Ah la la la, ah la la la
I la la la la love you
I don't wanna break before
The tour is over
I'm gonna make it mine
Yes I, I'll own it
I'm gonna make it mine
Yes I'll make it all mine
And timing's everything
And this time there's plenty
I am balancing
Careful and steady
And reveling in energy that everyone's emitting
Well I don't wanna wait no more
Oh I wanna celebrate the whole world
I'm gonna make it mine
Oh yes I'm following your joy
I'm gonna make it mine
Because I, I am open
I'm gonna make it mine
That's why, I will show it
I'm gonna make it mine
Gonna make it mine
Oh mine
Yes I'll make it all mine
Lotto 6/55
A few days ago, I got the verbal confirmation of the job offered to me by that lame call center in Las Pinas. I passed a 3 months of processing which includes an initial interview w/ HR, another interview with the training manager, a demo, a module creation, and a final interview with the Vice President for ASEAN HR or something. I passed. I don't know, but any trainer who went through any "trainer application process" would find this weird. Reason why I striven through all the bullshit was, I liked the job. Imagine: A Corporate Trainer for Leadership Development. Wow, right? But going back to the verbal offer, at first, I thought everything was a joke. 18k/month. WTF! I didn't have any other back up plans so I said yes after a lot of failed negotiating.
Feeling like shit, on the way home, I said, "If I didn't need the money, this would be a tremendous break." It's not the usual Voice and Accent New Hire training stuff that I usually did, this was different and cool. Training is my passion and I don't want to do anything else for a living. (Except maybe I become a judge for Talentadong Pinoy of Pilipinas Got Talent, or become a very successful professional photographer who earns a lot). But I need money. To eat, to sleep, for the bills, for my love-ones, etc. It was so, crappy that all the way home, I was asking for a miracle. I suddenly thought: LOTTO. Haha. Pathetic, but I gave it a try anyways.
I marked 6 numbers and paid 20p for the ticket. Made me feel a bit better. Having a 1:25,000,000 of a chance is not that bad, and I thought at least, I have a chance. Better than having no chance at all. The stakes were at 634 million pesos. I know, right? 634 million pesos! I bet on numbers 2-10-16-17-26-45 by the way. I thought that if I won, I wont need the money anymore and thus, work in my new job with peace and harmony.
What would you do if you won that sum'a money? What could possibly happen to your life?
Imagine how amazing it would be to finally having an escape to working your ASS off everyday to save a few hundred of pesos each payday for your future. And here in the Philippines, when I say "future" that means FAAAAAAAARRRRRRRR FAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRR future. Stupid. Life here in the Philippines is stupid. And the money that you save for ten years may not even be enough to buy you a small house. That's why so many Filipinos try their luck in other countries. Anywhere else. But here.
To make the long story short, after a few nights of wishful thinking and daydreaming of what I would do if I were a multi-millionaire, I woke up, hearing from the news that nobody won.
Here:
Grand Lotto 6/55
04-41-40-55-42-45
Php 633,911,065.20
(0)winner
Draw Date: 11/24/2010
So, anyway, it would be nice to have won and bought these things:
nice huh? and the rest, I will give to my family and my best friend. think nof how many lifespans I need to buy these stuff if I were just to save money as I am now, earning 18k per month.
Feeling like shit, on the way home, I said, "If I didn't need the money, this would be a tremendous break." It's not the usual Voice and Accent New Hire training stuff that I usually did, this was different and cool. Training is my passion and I don't want to do anything else for a living. (Except maybe I become a judge for Talentadong Pinoy of Pilipinas Got Talent, or become a very successful professional photographer who earns a lot). But I need money. To eat, to sleep, for the bills, for my love-ones, etc. It was so, crappy that all the way home, I was asking for a miracle. I suddenly thought: LOTTO. Haha. Pathetic, but I gave it a try anyways.
I marked 6 numbers and paid 20p for the ticket. Made me feel a bit better. Having a 1:25,000,000 of a chance is not that bad, and I thought at least, I have a chance. Better than having no chance at all. The stakes were at 634 million pesos. I know, right? 634 million pesos! I bet on numbers 2-10-16-17-26-45 by the way. I thought that if I won, I wont need the money anymore and thus, work in my new job with peace and harmony.
What would you do if you won that sum'a money? What could possibly happen to your life?
Imagine how amazing it would be to finally having an escape to working your ASS off everyday to save a few hundred of pesos each payday for your future. And here in the Philippines, when I say "future" that means FAAAAAAAARRRRRRRR FAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRR future. Stupid. Life here in the Philippines is stupid. And the money that you save for ten years may not even be enough to buy you a small house. That's why so many Filipinos try their luck in other countries. Anywhere else. But here.
To make the long story short, after a few nights of wishful thinking and daydreaming of what I would do if I were a multi-millionaire, I woke up, hearing from the news that nobody won.
Here:
Grand Lotto 6/55
04-41-40-55-42-45
Php 633,911,065.20
(0)winner
Draw Date: 11/24/2010
So, anyway, it would be nice to have won and bought these things:
Thursday, November 25, 2010
Heck
Well speaking of money, I never stop thinking how I can earn some. I say some coz I am tapped out. And if I had some, I'd say more, and even if I had more, I'd still want more and more. Asking for more is not bad so long as it does not destroy you but how will I know if I have never been there? That's not the point, really.
Sometimes I think, "this blog can do me some earning" but what the hell. I'm a nobody. Nobody would like to read a blog from a nobody. Unless maybe for some reason, a pair of weird parents decides to name their newborn child "Nobody", but that's too corny to be true.
Thinking that the others DO make a living from blogging, well, good for them. But what do they have that I don't? Maybe they blog about the good stuff. But I blog about the bad stuff. They blog about the great food they experience at exquisite restaurants, while I blog about my hunger. Some would blog 'bout the best tourist destinations, while I blog about me at home, not being able to do the laundry. So seriously, who'd even try to take a look at this?
There has always been an expression that it's good to be different. That if you're different and unique, they will notice you and thus, might be your chance to shine. But this blog, though is different than most, is hysterically hopeless.
While composing this post, I see that there are 6 tabs on the upper part of this page. One of it is labeled "MONETIZE". I guess that would be the blogger's option to add ads to your page for money. Maybe, if a lot of people view your page, they see the ad and possibly click em. And I think you get paid per clicks or views or whatever. Yeah, right. Sif I'm some public figure like most no-brainers you see on TV. Maybe if I looked like a metro-sexual gay guy with buff muscles, a six-pack and a bunch of TV commercials, numbers of people would visit this page even though all I said here were stuff easier that a 1+1 equation to understand.
But hey, I think my thoughts are ok. I think it might be worth reading. The others may have stuff to say because they have a lot of good stuff, and I think that is how I'm different from everyone. Because I blog stuff nobody can when all else fails. I blog about nothingness. And I blog about life when you take away the sugar coating. And I hope one day, this can be part of a series of blogs that leads to rising above all the crap.
Naks. Parang tunay.
Sometimes I think, "this blog can do me some earning" but what the hell. I'm a nobody. Nobody would like to read a blog from a nobody. Unless maybe for some reason, a pair of weird parents decides to name their newborn child "Nobody", but that's too corny to be true.
Thinking that the others DO make a living from blogging, well, good for them. But what do they have that I don't? Maybe they blog about the good stuff. But I blog about the bad stuff. They blog about the great food they experience at exquisite restaurants, while I blog about my hunger. Some would blog 'bout the best tourist destinations, while I blog about me at home, not being able to do the laundry. So seriously, who'd even try to take a look at this?
There has always been an expression that it's good to be different. That if you're different and unique, they will notice you and thus, might be your chance to shine. But this blog, though is different than most, is hysterically hopeless.
While composing this post, I see that there are 6 tabs on the upper part of this page. One of it is labeled "MONETIZE". I guess that would be the blogger's option to add ads to your page for money. Maybe, if a lot of people view your page, they see the ad and possibly click em. And I think you get paid per clicks or views or whatever. Yeah, right. Sif I'm some public figure like most no-brainers you see on TV. Maybe if I looked like a metro-sexual gay guy with buff muscles, a six-pack and a bunch of TV commercials, numbers of people would visit this page even though all I said here were stuff easier that a 1+1 equation to understand.
But hey, I think my thoughts are ok. I think it might be worth reading. The others may have stuff to say because they have a lot of good stuff, and I think that is how I'm different from everyone. Because I blog stuff nobody can when all else fails. I blog about nothingness. And I blog about life when you take away the sugar coating. And I hope one day, this can be part of a series of blogs that leads to rising above all the crap.
Naks. Parang tunay.
The Reason
Yeah. now I know why I blog. because I have no one to talk to. I'm a decaying useless dork @ home, whose opinions or thoughts mean to no one in this earth and I mean, NO ONE. At least here, I get to write the things that I want without anyone ever butting in so therefore, I can finish writing what I'm thinking. It is as if someone actually listens and lets me finish what I say.
How is it ever possible to vent your thoughts to the one involved without getting retaliation and negative responses every time. I am so tired of this crap. All this crap around me is making me sick.
Aside from all of the shit happening to me, being jobless for a year, and having loads and loads of debt, and never giving my love-ones what they need, I still have problems with my relationship. Problems, with an "S". Huh, I don't know. Things I'm thinking maybe simple but they add up to the pile of crap I have in mind that I cant ever clean up.
How is it ever possible to vent your thoughts to the one involved without getting retaliation and negative responses every time. I am so tired of this crap. All this crap around me is making me sick.
Aside from all of the shit happening to me, being jobless for a year, and having loads and loads of debt, and never giving my love-ones what they need, I still have problems with my relationship. Problems, with an "S". Huh, I don't know. Things I'm thinking maybe simple but they add up to the pile of crap I have in mind that I cant ever clean up.
hungry
I'm hungry. All I ate was a bunch of carbohydrates from the Pansit my fiance took home from their team building. It was too many because no one in their team would want to eat it. It was pansit with grounded beef and a few vegetables. It tasted funny. No choice, I was hungry.
Tonight, we're supposed to be together, her and I. But she's sleeping upstairs, exhausted from the swimming and videoke-ing and bonding together with her teammates. I understand, she needs to sleep. No work today for her, it's thanksgiving. In the states of course. And since they work for these people like pathetic slaves, they observe it more than our own traditional holidays. But what can we we do, we are just employees. Unless you have a very successful chain of perfume stores, you might end up like Joel Cruz, but that's another issue.
Well, I don't know if I'd wait for her to wake up. I mean, I can't sleep anymore. I don't have that kind of sound mind now. Even when I sleep, I always have nightmares, and even if I don't, I'm scared of waking up to face the real world again, so I'm still scared. Right now, I'm hungry and I wanna do the laundry, though those two things doesn't make a good match. I don't have money to buy soap, nor bread. And I dont want to wake her up to ask money for food or soap. This morning, when she arrived, she asked me if I was able to loan money from my friends already. I said, not yet, coz, there was none yet. That means she no longer has money. And all the more reason not to ask money from her.
I have been the provider for the longest time and it really sucks when you don't have money, you know? I have been used to giving , and not taking. And I am not the type of person that would ask in return for the things that I gave, it makes me sick. Maybe because I am the firstborn. It's a curse. And mostly, it is my pride that tells me: "I am not asking for money more than the amount that I need for today, because I don't want to be responsible of you spend all your money before the next expected payout." But still, here I am, feeling responsible for everything again.
I am so tired but I can't sleep.
I guess I should just stop and go to hell.
Tonight, we're supposed to be together, her and I. But she's sleeping upstairs, exhausted from the swimming and videoke-ing and bonding together with her teammates. I understand, she needs to sleep. No work today for her, it's thanksgiving. In the states of course. And since they work for these people like pathetic slaves, they observe it more than our own traditional holidays. But what can we we do, we are just employees. Unless you have a very successful chain of perfume stores, you might end up like Joel Cruz, but that's another issue.
Well, I don't know if I'd wait for her to wake up. I mean, I can't sleep anymore. I don't have that kind of sound mind now. Even when I sleep, I always have nightmares, and even if I don't, I'm scared of waking up to face the real world again, so I'm still scared. Right now, I'm hungry and I wanna do the laundry, though those two things doesn't make a good match. I don't have money to buy soap, nor bread. And I dont want to wake her up to ask money for food or soap. This morning, when she arrived, she asked me if I was able to loan money from my friends already. I said, not yet, coz, there was none yet. That means she no longer has money. And all the more reason not to ask money from her.
I have been the provider for the longest time and it really sucks when you don't have money, you know? I have been used to giving , and not taking. And I am not the type of person that would ask in return for the things that I gave, it makes me sick. Maybe because I am the firstborn. It's a curse. And mostly, it is my pride that tells me: "I am not asking for money more than the amount that I need for today, because I don't want to be responsible of you spend all your money before the next expected payout." But still, here I am, feeling responsible for everything again.
I am so tired but I can't sleep.
I guess I should just stop and go to hell.
Decadence
In front of the computer, haven't took a bath in 4 days. My clothes stink. I stink. My laundry is has been on the concrete floor in the front porch for months. Not that I don't wash em, I'm just trying to budget my use laundry detergent. Stupid? No. That's how poor I am. At least for me. I haven't eaten a formal meal in days and if I had the money, I'd rather buy food and cigarettes than detergent. And if ever I had detergent, I'd just use it to wash my fiance's clothes. She's the one who goes to work anyway. And even the training manager (of the new crappy call center I'm gonna soon work for) said I might be starting by Dec. 1, I still don't believe it unless I'm actually working there for a year. Things has been going so bad for me this 2010 that I don't expect anything good or nice to happen from anyone anymore.
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Catch.. Crap.
I have been jobless since January of this year. And God knows what kind of hell I have been in. Got kicked out from my last job because of a couple of social climbing, ass-licking, back-stabbing co-trainers who I never got to know because they were always @ Starbucks and even though they tried to reach out to me, they were naturally unreachable. First off, I couldn't afford Starbucks (and even if I wanted to, I needed the money for my family) and their conversations were all about women they met here and there, their trip to London, or to the US or to Boracay, or how they want to buy a new car, you know, the KONYO thing. They were long-time good friends with the immediate supervisor who was also incompetent by the way. So, a simple - WE DON'T WANT HIM made a few emergency absences make like I set the company on fire.
So, here I am. Til now.
My principles fight with my needs, telling me to just work as an agent in a Call Center. So I did, but couldn't take it so I went on AWOL after a month.
Throughout this year, I was in a series of unfortunate events. I passed up to contract signing in IBM for a New-Hire Language Trainer for a verbal offer of 31k / month which is not bad compared to my last job as a Trainer in Teleperformance for 32,500 / month. A few days before the starting date, they had to retract the offer because they knew that I was just a high-school graduate. It was never asked during any of the interviews (because if you interview for a trainer, competencies are asked - the how-to's, the training cycle, experiences as a trainer, etc.). Same happened to all ten other call centers that almost hired me because of my competencies, my demo, my passion and my desire. It has always been like that. More than once, I get comments like, "at last, someone with great presentation skills, out of all I interviewed!" and "we're really glad you came, we couldn't find anyone better than you", amogst all other great compliments. And I am pretty sure that out of all that they interviewed would be people with a Bachelor's or Master's Degree or could be even a PHD.
So, my jobless streak went to an all-time, almost a year high.
Sometimes when they say -"When you're down, there is nowhere else to go but up", is not totally true. You haven't known DOWN unless you're DOWN and it just keeps getting deeper and deeper. And really, a few months ago, I thought I was down. I would steal tiny eggplants from the neighbor's yard, pawn my TV to have enough money to go to the interviews and demos I mentioned earlier. There were days that there was no food at all.
Now, living back with my siblings who work in a call center in MOA, I'm given a few hundred pesos every month max, enough for me to buy cigarettes and to go to interviews. I have been so traumatized by the entire application process that I don't expect anything anymore. These past few months, a BPO in Paranaque processed me for the title: Corporate Trainer of Leadership Development which was a mouthful. The application process was awful, compared to most call centers where you can start working after a few days, (weeks at max) of successful processing. I was processed for 3 months! Every single thing that they needed with me, I would be asked to come back for another day. I was even required to submit my own original module with facilitator notes which I never experienced from any company I applied in before.
Being so attracted to the title, I was faithful and loyal to it, declining any other interview that came. I read bopoks about behavioral, and the scientific approaches to learning. Deeper stuff. After 3 months, I passed the final interview and the job offer was expended yesterday.
Looking at the figures of my future basic monthly compensation package, I thought it was a joke! 18k per month?! What the fuck?! And I was speechless. I didn't know how to react. I had no choice. No other interviews. The last time I heard call centers paying Trainers 18/month was way back in 2006, in Telus. I tried to negotiate a bit but the manager said, that offer was already the kind of offer they would give to a Senior Trainer. I said yes. Of course. It's a few days left before Christmas and the new year. I had god-daughters and a whole clan of people I have to give presents to, etc. The Christmas hustle.
So, this keeps me thinking more about how life is here in the Philippines, and that this is not yet over. Just like the other companies, they might do a CI on me, and they can still pull me out if ever. I know that this is just the start of a new series of awfully-crappy events that will come my way and I am none the less, prepared.
Yesterday, on the way home, I went to the lottery outlet, placed a bet for the highest stake prize of 600M pesos which I think they call the 6/55. Thinking of all the bad luck I had this year. And maybe, just maybe, it might turn for the better. Thinking if I won.
So, here I am. Til now.
My principles fight with my needs, telling me to just work as an agent in a Call Center. So I did, but couldn't take it so I went on AWOL after a month.
Throughout this year, I was in a series of unfortunate events. I passed up to contract signing in IBM for a New-Hire Language Trainer for a verbal offer of 31k / month which is not bad compared to my last job as a Trainer in Teleperformance for 32,500 / month. A few days before the starting date, they had to retract the offer because they knew that I was just a high-school graduate. It was never asked during any of the interviews (because if you interview for a trainer, competencies are asked - the how-to's, the training cycle, experiences as a trainer, etc.). Same happened to all ten other call centers that almost hired me because of my competencies, my demo, my passion and my desire. It has always been like that. More than once, I get comments like, "at last, someone with great presentation skills, out of all I interviewed!" and "we're really glad you came, we couldn't find anyone better than you", amogst all other great compliments. And I am pretty sure that out of all that they interviewed would be people with a Bachelor's or Master's Degree or could be even a PHD.
So, my jobless streak went to an all-time, almost a year high.
Sometimes when they say -"When you're down, there is nowhere else to go but up", is not totally true. You haven't known DOWN unless you're DOWN and it just keeps getting deeper and deeper. And really, a few months ago, I thought I was down. I would steal tiny eggplants from the neighbor's yard, pawn my TV to have enough money to go to the interviews and demos I mentioned earlier. There were days that there was no food at all.
Now, living back with my siblings who work in a call center in MOA, I'm given a few hundred pesos every month max, enough for me to buy cigarettes and to go to interviews. I have been so traumatized by the entire application process that I don't expect anything anymore. These past few months, a BPO in Paranaque processed me for the title: Corporate Trainer of Leadership Development which was a mouthful. The application process was awful, compared to most call centers where you can start working after a few days, (weeks at max) of successful processing. I was processed for 3 months! Every single thing that they needed with me, I would be asked to come back for another day. I was even required to submit my own original module with facilitator notes which I never experienced from any company I applied in before.
Being so attracted to the title, I was faithful and loyal to it, declining any other interview that came. I read bopoks about behavioral, and the scientific approaches to learning. Deeper stuff. After 3 months, I passed the final interview and the job offer was expended yesterday.
Looking at the figures of my future basic monthly compensation package, I thought it was a joke! 18k per month?! What the fuck?! And I was speechless. I didn't know how to react. I had no choice. No other interviews. The last time I heard call centers paying Trainers 18/month was way back in 2006, in Telus. I tried to negotiate a bit but the manager said, that offer was already the kind of offer they would give to a Senior Trainer. I said yes. Of course. It's a few days left before Christmas and the new year. I had god-daughters and a whole clan of people I have to give presents to, etc. The Christmas hustle.
So, this keeps me thinking more about how life is here in the Philippines, and that this is not yet over. Just like the other companies, they might do a CI on me, and they can still pull me out if ever. I know that this is just the start of a new series of awfully-crappy events that will come my way and I am none the less, prepared.
Yesterday, on the way home, I went to the lottery outlet, placed a bet for the highest stake prize of 600M pesos which I think they call the 6/55. Thinking of all the bad luck I had this year. And maybe, just maybe, it might turn for the better. Thinking if I won.
Tsk..
Huh.. Just came back from walking my girlfriend to trike terminal. I'm quite bothered though.
This helpless feeling of parting ways knowing that you have so much to say but all that comes out are words that she wants to hear, not the things that you really feel.
Why?
Well, there are times in a relationship when you trust each other so much to know what each other would do under certain circumstances. Its like when both of you are saving money, you expect each other to be thrifty and smart in spending money. It has to go without saying that if someone flirts with anyone of us, one must know not to entertain further. And sometimes when you want to have sex so bad. You really can't beg for sex, right. Or else it wont feel great. If that is the case, I would say it would be better to jerk off alone.
The case is not really about flirting or sex, or jerking off. Why is it so much to say the things that we really want to say? Maybe in my case this time, I want her to make the initiative to know it on her own.
She has been in this new job for almost a month now. Everyday she tells me, she wants to quit. Her colleagues are assholes and have this feeling of authority over newbies. They don't help or answer whenever she asks. I said it's like that typical hampas lupa type of environment where in employees with entry level jobs have been doing the same shit over and over again (and never getting promoted) that they feel like a god that whenever they get to see a newbie. I think just like in factories, and this case, this "call center" (that she's in) is just like one.
We chat via Live messenger every night, and all that I hear is:
"I wanna go home..."
"I can't take it anymore..."
"Puta talaga mga tao dito kapag tinatanong..."
Amongst lotsa negative things.
But this past few days, after her first pay, I was shocked to know that she will be going to this team get together thing at DAMPA, a well known paluto restaurant thing when you work in call centers (I mean, its like in the call center country, the only thing they know is DAMPA and PANSOL, when you can go to so many other places in the Philippines. Well, I can't blame them, I think it is better to think of where it is cheap and economical because agents in most call centers don't earn that much anyway - compared to those call center agents who think they earn so much [compared to working for Jollibee] that they even go to Boracay and have such nice PDAs but not having enough money to survive till the next payday.) located on Macapagal Ave., near MOA. She asked me if she can go when she already made a commitment. Well, even if I thought she didn't want it there, and her colleagues suck, and that she was just there for the money, and that she wants to go home the second she turns her monitor ON. On the other hand, I thought it was great, finally opening a door of opportunities for her to bond with the "Gods of the Floor". Confused, I said, "Ok. I mean, it's up to you, if you really think it's ok for you to be there, but it's a good thing, you bonding with them." As soon as she got home, I asked her how it was. She answered with great comments, and how it shines on her face, I know it went well. But the next working day, before going to work, I heard the same whines, the same complains, same in chat. So what could be more confusing than that? I try to understand her with every ounce of good faith that I have, every inch of understanding a fiance can give.
But this morning, she said asked me if she can go to their team building tomorrow. Swimming somewhere in Molino. I didn't know what to say, so I said the usual thing, "It's up to you, ikaw bahala." Then she went ahead, choosing from different bathing suits, (2-piece swimsuits) which is quite weird because for all I know, the team building wasn't gonna be in Boracay or Puerto Gallera. (and I think she knows I don't want her to wear those).
Right now, I don't know. But I care. This feeling sucks. I have been working for years as a Trainer and it has been always part of my job to influence people to buy what you say, changing their behavior, for the better. But it's different when you are the one in the picture.
This helpless feeling of parting ways knowing that you have so much to say but all that comes out are words that she wants to hear, not the things that you really feel.
Why?
Well, there are times in a relationship when you trust each other so much to know what each other would do under certain circumstances. Its like when both of you are saving money, you expect each other to be thrifty and smart in spending money. It has to go without saying that if someone flirts with anyone of us, one must know not to entertain further. And sometimes when you want to have sex so bad. You really can't beg for sex, right. Or else it wont feel great. If that is the case, I would say it would be better to jerk off alone.
The case is not really about flirting or sex, or jerking off. Why is it so much to say the things that we really want to say? Maybe in my case this time, I want her to make the initiative to know it on her own.
She has been in this new job for almost a month now. Everyday she tells me, she wants to quit. Her colleagues are assholes and have this feeling of authority over newbies. They don't help or answer whenever she asks. I said it's like that typical hampas lupa type of environment where in employees with entry level jobs have been doing the same shit over and over again (and never getting promoted) that they feel like a god that whenever they get to see a newbie. I think just like in factories, and this case, this "call center" (that she's in) is just like one.
We chat via Live messenger every night, and all that I hear is:
"I wanna go home..."
"I can't take it anymore..."
"Puta talaga mga tao dito kapag tinatanong..."
Amongst lotsa negative things.
But this past few days, after her first pay, I was shocked to know that she will be going to this team get together thing at DAMPA, a well known paluto restaurant thing when you work in call centers (I mean, its like in the call center country, the only thing they know is DAMPA and PANSOL, when you can go to so many other places in the Philippines. Well, I can't blame them, I think it is better to think of where it is cheap and economical because agents in most call centers don't earn that much anyway - compared to those call center agents who think they earn so much [compared to working for Jollibee] that they even go to Boracay and have such nice PDAs but not having enough money to survive till the next payday.) located on Macapagal Ave., near MOA. She asked me if she can go when she already made a commitment. Well, even if I thought she didn't want it there, and her colleagues suck, and that she was just there for the money, and that she wants to go home the second she turns her monitor ON. On the other hand, I thought it was great, finally opening a door of opportunities for her to bond with the "Gods of the Floor". Confused, I said, "Ok. I mean, it's up to you, if you really think it's ok for you to be there, but it's a good thing, you bonding with them." As soon as she got home, I asked her how it was. She answered with great comments, and how it shines on her face, I know it went well. But the next working day, before going to work, I heard the same whines, the same complains, same in chat. So what could be more confusing than that? I try to understand her with every ounce of good faith that I have, every inch of understanding a fiance can give.
But this morning, she said asked me if she can go to their team building tomorrow. Swimming somewhere in Molino. I didn't know what to say, so I said the usual thing, "It's up to you, ikaw bahala." Then she went ahead, choosing from different bathing suits, (2-piece swimsuits) which is quite weird because for all I know, the team building wasn't gonna be in Boracay or Puerto Gallera. (and I think she knows I don't want her to wear those).
Right now, I don't know. But I care. This feeling sucks. I have been working for years as a Trainer and it has been always part of my job to influence people to buy what you say, changing their behavior, for the better. But it's different when you are the one in the picture.
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Huh..
Well in fairness to everyone, my last blog was true even though it was purposely made as a contest piece for a promo by a telecommunications company here in the Phils. So far, I enjoyed doing it, but made it a little bit more "emo" for judge and audience impact which I think did not work anyway (coz I didn't win).
But today will all be about whatever I think of and I think that that is the true essence of blogging. I never really found the beauty in blogging ever since and honestly, this will be my first real blog.
Got thinking a little bit about how hard life is for me this year (2010), and after seeing The Social Network, I thought blogging isn't so bad after all. Because just like in the movie, in a scene where Mark Zuckerberg blogged everything he was thinking after he broke up with his girlfriend that same night, led him to a string of thought which later became a 25 billion dollar company. Of course he became the world's youngest billionaire. But of course blogging won't make you a billionaire (or will it?), but i found something awesome about it. Blogging kinda makes you feel like you are talking to someone who shares your exact thoughts and principles in life, and therefore, you got yourself a great motivator who will agree with everything that you say - all the way.
I think I'm getting a bit crazy here... Think I have to stop this for a moment and continue in a different topic later.
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