idiots

today, we went to the 2nd grand VALMONTE clan reunion held at my distant uncle's place @ Capitol Homes in QC. the first time, can't remember where was held 11 years ago, where I, mom, dad, karen, john and ching attended. it was fun, everyone talked to each other, my dad introduced us to almost everyone and we went home around 1am with lotsa xmas stuff and giveaways that we had to rent a jeepney to take us home. we got home 3am, talking about how happy we were.

 us and the Paranes 11 years ago

today wasnt so fun.

only mom and I went to the "thing", and we were late. dad isn't here anymore. the place was fucking huge. and so was the front yard where they held it. the house was like a mini-palace and the front of the gate was parked to death by cars which gave me the feeling that mom and I was the only one who got there via cab. we didn't know anyone else there, except for the parane's and tito boy. the parane's sang again, as usual and as always. people just talked to whom they knew, no one approached us. we were at the table at the very back, we ate then we watched the others play games as the the boring hosts called names randomly from the registration sheet.
then we watched some more. observing dress color-coded guests at their tables talked to each other, others knew everyone. i could see youngsters of our generation, laughing with each other on one table, maybe they already knew each other closely, maybe, first cousins or whatever.a lot of good lookin people too, men, women and child.. speaking in english, like 80% of them. Kids, running around with other kids. games were "pinoy henyo", "charades",... no different from a boring day in call center training. and the venue was no different from any kind of "you are invited, go there and eat and sit at your table til you finish, then leave" thing.
before we left, (after 3 hours of observing and smoking cigarettes) they gave us soy sauce and vinegar and 2 weird things wrapped like an xmas gift, which we dont know what it is for. one looks like an oversized mousepad made of wood and the other one looks like an oversized bra, (not joking) really beats the hell outta me.
they called us a cab and my uncle's wife shook my hand and said thank you for coming, the usual shit. yeah, yeah... i hated her in a way, one look at her and i can smell a corporate boss of some sort, and it just makes me wanna puke all over her fancy high-class being.
then we took off in a cab.
in fairness, uncle boy was cool, very nice guy, transparent and non-plasticky. I like him.

at home, a few minutes ago, i accidentally logged into karen's facebook account. got lost and was led to the group page for the Valmonte clan, the group page where they announced the reunion, posted pictures of members of the clan overseas. one post said "the reunion was a success"!!! "thanks to everyone....blah, blah.." i was thinking, and i wanted to reply but didnt anyway, that, If you were our great grand parents, would you say it was a success if your sons and daughters did not talk to each other? everyone who was there, represents one of our great grandparent's son. and sad to say, that it just looked like pulling out people from other places and bringing them at the venue to eat. i never met anyone there whom I havent met before, outta the almost more than a hundred guests there I think. bottomline, it fuckin sucked, a complete waste of time and money.

call me bitter for being the only one who got there via cab, when 99% of all Valmontes are filthy rich but, I least I know I'm the only one who wasn't an idiot.

another year

one good thing about my gf not working in SPi anymore is that she can't be bored enough to read my blogs now. so i guess it's safe to write again. been a year, since i guess i started venting out shit in this site, but nothing has changed with me. my dad has passed away, some people got great promotions, bought new cars, migrated to another country, but here i am, still in front of my notebook, the notebook I failed to return to my former employer, SPI. i don't know... I really want to give this back, there is absolutely nothing holding me back but I guess that the awkwardness of walking back there and handing this over is too much for me to bear.. anyway, so much for that..

I wont deny that I got busy this year too, met another asshole boss... Why do all the bosses have to be assholes? well maybe 98 out of 100 of the are assholes. and gay. gay assholes.

my blog doesnt have any outline today, i just feel like writing whatever.

im scared too, being in the same situation that I was, over and over and over and over again. my best friend always tells me to make a move with my life, coz most people just cant wait. and Im starting to feel that. a few days ago, i got my final pay from cognizant, a company which I have worked for for 4 months. i got 32k and was planning all along to buy my fiance an LED TV for her. However, she wanted something else. a sony cybershot digicam. well, its absolutely not a bad idea but i just wanted my gift to be extravagant. god knows how much I want to show off to her family and god knows how much I need it. Frequently hearing from her that her mum and her sister are both agreeing to have her marry someone in the states for an easy immigration makes me feel like SHIT. They don't respect me. And I know that they don't see me as part of the picture.All they think about is the money.
 I bought them all xmas presents, and no body thanked me, (except for her brother) probably because they thought that the money came from my gf. Hard to think i could have bought all those gifts.
Someday, when I stand up again, I'm gonna rub it in their face.
Oh MONEY... You are how people are measured these days.
It's true because im pretty sure that I am least appreciated, compared  to how my gf's mum appreciates her 2 son in laws.. oh yes, both of them have money, lots of it, so it then negates the fact that one is a rapist and one makes a living punching bag out of his wife because the wife wanted to see the mobile phone that he was so desperately trying to hide.
someday, im gonna be successful, with money more than for what I need....but I'm gonna remember all of this shit.