another year

one good thing about my gf not working in SPi anymore is that she can't be bored enough to read my blogs now. so i guess it's safe to write again. been a year, since i guess i started venting out shit in this site, but nothing has changed with me. my dad has passed away, some people got great promotions, bought new cars, migrated to another country, but here i am, still in front of my notebook, the notebook I failed to return to my former employer, SPI. i don't know... I really want to give this back, there is absolutely nothing holding me back but I guess that the awkwardness of walking back there and handing this over is too much for me to bear.. anyway, so much for that..

I wont deny that I got busy this year too, met another asshole boss... Why do all the bosses have to be assholes? well maybe 98 out of 100 of the are assholes. and gay. gay assholes.

my blog doesnt have any outline today, i just feel like writing whatever.

im scared too, being in the same situation that I was, over and over and over and over again. my best friend always tells me to make a move with my life, coz most people just cant wait. and Im starting to feel that. a few days ago, i got my final pay from cognizant, a company which I have worked for for 4 months. i got 32k and was planning all along to buy my fiance an LED TV for her. However, she wanted something else. a sony cybershot digicam. well, its absolutely not a bad idea but i just wanted my gift to be extravagant. god knows how much I want to show off to her family and god knows how much I need it. Frequently hearing from her that her mum and her sister are both agreeing to have her marry someone in the states for an easy immigration makes me feel like SHIT. They don't respect me. And I know that they don't see me as part of the picture.All they think about is the money.
 I bought them all xmas presents, and no body thanked me, (except for her brother) probably because they thought that the money came from my gf. Hard to think i could have bought all those gifts.
Someday, when I stand up again, I'm gonna rub it in their face.
Oh MONEY... You are how people are measured these days.
It's true because im pretty sure that I am least appreciated, compared  to how my gf's mum appreciates her 2 son in laws.. oh yes, both of them have money, lots of it, so it then negates the fact that one is a rapist and one makes a living punching bag out of his wife because the wife wanted to see the mobile phone that he was so desperately trying to hide.
someday, im gonna be successful, with money more than for what I need....but I'm gonna remember all of this shit.