Hate

Back from a long day with my baby. She just got her 2nd pay from working as a Medical Billing Specialist in the great SPi Global in Paranaque.

For a whole cut off with one regular holiday (double pay), she got 8k. Not really sure why, but it was ok. I mean, cut 15k (her monthly basic) + 10% night differential, minus the horrible Philippine tax, it should be as low as 7k max, not bad.

It really sucks to know that you are trapped in a awful and corrupt 3rd world country where the money that you earn will not get you through anything, considering the transportation fees and the other bills you need to pay for an average citizen. Well, she got 8k right? She gave 2,500 to her mom, bought MY family a few meals, took me out to Robinson's Imus. At the mall, we bought a few necessities, like cotton buds, feminine pads, a small bottle of shampoo, soap, etc. That's it. No clothes, no fancy stuff. And what was left was 2,500php, our budget for transpo and food til she gets her next paycheck. By the way, I decided to take the offer in the same company she works for, regardless of how stupid and one-sided the deal was (refer to my past blogs) because I can't stand to be left alone with my dad here at home and I need money to pay for the internet.

My baby is sleeping upstairs. Hurt of the fact that after excitedly wanting to buy my folks at home a whole chicken for dinner, they all went to sleep upstairs. Except for my brother John.

This post is not enough to express to anger and hate I feel for them doing that to her.

She never did anything wrong to them.

But right now, all we want is to save enough money to afford to rent a place somewhere. But with my 18k and her 15k per month, how long will it take before we move out? I don't know. When we were at the mall, we were happy. And because of what happened, the black clouds are back.

There have been a lot of wrong things that I did in the past, a lot of wrong decisions that made me lose my job over and over again in a span of 6 months - making me and my fiance end up here in this shit hole, but I know better now. I love her too much for her to suffer, and I will do my best, NO MATTER WHAT IT TAKES, to be a better provider. Looking at a time when I will finally come back to a nice, cozy home, with and LED TV, and a WIFE, lovingly, waiting for me, without worrying of anyone else she has to please and get along with in the same house, but me.