suffocate

suffocating. i don't know why, i guess i just got too impatient on things going on recently. i was on my way to buying a new Alienware laptop, got a kid seller from Zambuanga who really needed the money. I could've had it by now but we went to Baguio on our anniversary so we spent half that amount. 2 days ago, he sold it to someone else. now im still stuck working on a pc that crashes every time you play a YouTube video. But at least it still allows me to play music and do my job. I guess I can still wait.

Don't get me wrong, I bought so many things recently with my 12-15k weekly salary, much much more than I ever bought on all of my 8 years in the call center (agent/trainer). it's just that when you're this close to getting everything you want, suddenly, it's not enough. I used to live year after year on budgeting my salary on transpo, food, etc. And simple dates were sufficient for me and my baby. Now only do i realize that I have missed so much! Now, almost every week, I can buy something nice I want but I still want more! Also we started planning to buy a house after all necessities have been obtained. Then after the house, a car, then the wedding. We plan to do it in Camp John Hay - Bell Amphitheater. I showed it to her last week and she was psyched. :) Looking back on a 30k per month salary minus taxes (one of the highest offers a trainer could get in a call center), I earn 11-12k per half a month minus transportation and food and other misc expenses, it does not make sense at all!

now I earn in dollars and my work load is so light, I can do it whenever and however i want. All of this is thanks to Fernando, a good friend who passed over the torch to me when he went to work for iOS games and Hentai illustrations.

for the meantime, we need to buy:

a kickass budget-friendly laptop
work table
work chair
my bed
bhear's bed
bhear's bean bags

optional:
my room renovation which includes:
*air conditioning
*room re-painting
a better cellphone
and preparation for the upcoming holiday season, a chance to give back to the people who helped us make it through the years.

after the above:
HOUSE
CAR
WEDDING


over the past year, we were able to buy:
Samsung galaxy note 2
Samsung 32inch LED TV
Nintendo wii
PlayStation 3
tv table
carrier air condition for bhear's room
bhear's room
dell s2440L 24inch monitor
dragonwar mechanical backlighted gaming keyboard and mouse
500GB western digital ext passport
and loving and fun memories from Baguio for our 6th anniversary. (speaking of anniversary, I remember our last anniversary I had to sell some of the cards in my MTG collection to buy her 3 pcs of her favorite flower.)
and everyday, my baby can now buy any food she wants or pretty much anything she wants.

I just want to stress that NEVER IN MY LIFE was I able to buy any of these until recently.

I am so thankful for all of these. If ever shit happened, I would still be pretty proud of myself and my baby, but I really hope to do this work forever.

thank you Father for giving me everyone who helped (and are still helping) me.