LOVE

writing this on my notepad.

just got the internet to work again but its friggin slow. maybe it'd hit 1.5mbps later at around 4am so il just do this here on notepad for the time being.

i don't wanna whine anymore, ive just been thinking of the numerous mistakes Ive done in the past and things i achieved but blew up. right now, i have been completely re-assessing my life on what to do next and which stuff to change with myself..

yet only one thing rises above it all.

in this part, whatever happens to me now, or in the future, i want to one and for all give my eternal appreciation to my baby - Audi Raizza Ramos.

She is ONLY ONE THING in this life that makes me wanna carry on and be a better person. She is the only one who brings out the magical in this mundane shit hole we call earth.

I have always sworn to protect, care for and love her for the rest of my life but inevitably in times like this, she is the one who never fails to take care of me.

It's flattering and also at the same time, annoying - that she still thinks that after all of my hardships are over, - that after I regain my status again as a successful trainer, that I would leave her for someone else,.. Yet if there was only a pact in where I could offer my soul as guarantee, signed in blood, I woukd do it to assure her that my whole being belongs to her and her alone.

To my baby. You deserve and want so much, yet, I fail to provide. Even more so, you ask for so little or almost nothing at all. In so many times, since we've been together, i know i have failed you a lot. But in these times when I think that the only escape is either death or insanity, just one thought of you, one touch of your hand, one whisper, you put me back on track right on.

I promise to search for a change to be better, for you and our family in the future. And I pray that God gives me a chance to provide you with the needs and the love and the warmth that you so deserve. I will cherish and care and love and kiss and massage you for the rest of my life, YOU and ONLY YOU alone.

I will wait, because I believe in you.

I love you baby.